{Making Memories, not Photographs}
3.7.11

There is something to be said about not being a photographer.

Sometimes I envy people who don’t have a camera attached to their face during significant life events.
It is great to have the photographs after-the-fact for purposes of remembering significant people and reliving moments.
However, what happens when you don’t have memories of the event in the first place because you were behind the camera
the whole time and not actually experiencing the event? This often happens to me... I will be photographing my boyfriend’s band
and afterwards he’ll ask me how the show was, did they do a good job performing? Did I like the new intro?
What did I think about about the robot stomping on the video screen? I will draw a blank and realize that I did not experience the show.
I was there, as evidenced by the pictures I took, however I didn’t hear the music, I didn’t notice the robot on the screen;
my mind was too busy thinking “I need f-stop 11 for a wide shot of the whole band...zoom in close to capture that expression...
where do I need to position myself to get the light to burst behind his guitar...make sure you don’t forget to photograph the drummer,
he always gets forgotten in photos...”

A friend sent me a link to this note by blogger Leah Dieterich,
“Dear Instances Where I Don’t Have My Camera,
Thanks for requiring me to enjoy things in the moment for myself rather than with the back-of-mind notion
that saving it to reflect on later, or share with someone else will somehow make it better.
All the best, Leah”

The struggle between photographing an event and experiencing it...can a photographer ever have both?

This is why I love photographing other peoples lives - I love capturing the joy and happiness of couples or families
having fun together. They can enjoy being in the memory and I can enjoy taking the pictures for them to cherish forever.

However, when it comes to my own life, I’d sometimes rather set the camera down and enjoy it through my own eyes and my own memory.

Another problem when I do take pictures of my own life is that I am absent from them...
I am hidden from view on the other side of the camera.